My Feet

A sudden swelling has come on.

At first I noticed that my toes were rounder than normal.

Then I noticed that my shoes were tighter than before.

And yesterday I looked down and realized that my feet as I had known them had disappeared, and in their place were round and puffy appendages I did not recognize. They still had the rough soles and chipped polish that characterized my old feet, but not one of the veins or tendons or lines I was used to seeing. Zach has been very attentive, rubbing and holding my swollen feet, helping me rest and easing my discomfort, but nothing can quite make the swelling go down.

New Yorkers depend our feet to get us where we need to go. There is no place that I go that doesn't involve a 6 or 7 block walk, even to get to the train or bus. I walk to work, I walk to the store, I walk to yoga, I walk to see friends.

Walking has gotten harder with a bigger belly, a slower gait. I've had to adjust how long it takes me to get from place to place. But now, my shoes don't even fit. Planning my day does not just involve adding a little extra time - it requires planning the shortest route between any three to five destinations, knowing in advance any stops that might arise, and strategizing for spots to sit and rest and possibly even put my feet up for a few minutes. New York is no place for a woman at the end of her pregnancy.

I bought new shoes yesterday, to help me get around. They still squeeze my swollen feet a little, but I think my days of trekking around the city are numbered. My feet are telling me that it is time to stay near home. Time to rest. I am getting toward the end of this journey, and my body is giving me a very clear sign of what it is I need to do.