Early this morning I rolled over to cuddle with Zach, and as we spooned my belly perfectly fit into the small of his back, and we nestled in for a couple hours more of sleep. A little "tap, tap, tap" came from my belly, over and over again for several minutes, our little boy letting us know that he was cuddling up too, pressing on my belly and his daddy's back.
I can't wait til he's here with us where we can see him.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Glow
My skin is glowing.
My hair is glowing.
My smile is glowing.
I often feel like my belly is glowing.
It is a wonderful feeling to know that this is what my body is meant to do. I feel strong and healthy and beautiful and every day the little presence inside me makes himself more and more known.
I'm sure I have weeks and weeks of discomfort ahead of me, but for now I have to say, pregnancy suits my body.
I haven't (yet) suffered from many of the common problems of pregnancy - cramps and headaches and heartburn and constipation and digestive problems. All I suffer from is occasional shortness of breath and one or two days a week of back pain. Generally, I feel great. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, because this is a delight.
It feels good to show off my body and see my belly expanding and hear that other people can see how good I feel. It feels good to be doing what comes naturally. Pregnancy is finally, after months of feeling miserable, turning into what I imagined it would be.
My hair is glowing.
My smile is glowing.
I often feel like my belly is glowing.
It is a wonderful feeling to know that this is what my body is meant to do. I feel strong and healthy and beautiful and every day the little presence inside me makes himself more and more known.
I'm sure I have weeks and weeks of discomfort ahead of me, but for now I have to say, pregnancy suits my body.
I haven't (yet) suffered from many of the common problems of pregnancy - cramps and headaches and heartburn and constipation and digestive problems. All I suffer from is occasional shortness of breath and one or two days a week of back pain. Generally, I feel great. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, because this is a delight.
It feels good to show off my body and see my belly expanding and hear that other people can see how good I feel. It feels good to be doing what comes naturally. Pregnancy is finally, after months of feeling miserable, turning into what I imagined it would be.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Things I Did While Pregnant With You (Part 3)
I was teaching theatre workshops while I was pregnant with you, and you were a big hit with my students, especially the 9th graders I worked with all year. Every week they would ask me about you, what I was going to name you, how far along I was, whether I was married. You helped me out a lot in those classes. I would say things like, "If I can stand up and play this game, you can definitely stand up too," and "Don't make me shout over your voices because I don't want my child to think I have an angry voice," and "Please don't say words like b***h or f**k or n****r around my baby." I even told them that if they behaved I might let them name you (don't worry - I'm sure they knew I was kidding). Thank you.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Hungry
Hungry
Hungry
Hungry
Hungry
I love food! There is almost NOTHING that doesn't sound good to eat right now.
What used to serve as a meal is now just an opening snack.
Yay for food! Yay for food!
Favorite foods (right now):
Hungry
Hungry
Hungry
I love food! There is almost NOTHING that doesn't sound good to eat right now.
What used to serve as a meal is now just an opening snack.
Yay for food! Yay for food!
Favorite foods (right now):
- whole wheat pancakes with blueberries and syrup
- french fries of any sort or variety or quantity (except small)
- turkey burgers with provolone and avocado
- CHEESE!
- big, huge ceasar salads with crunchy croutons
- buckets of yogurt
- chocolate milk
- pretty much anything crunchy and salty dipped into anything creamy and salty
- cookies - but only soft and chewy cookies, not crunchy and crumbly cookies (only salty things should be crunchy)
- pasta...with cheese
I'm hungry all the time.
"A Pregnant Lady's Fantasy" taken while out to dinner with friends. The fries (clockwise: waffle, zucchini with melted mozzarella, shoestring, and pesto-garlic) were ostensibly to be shared for a party of four. Not pictured: giant turkey burger with provolone and avocado.
Friday, February 6, 2009
22 Weeks
This was taken at 22 Weeks (although I'm at 23 weeks now) and shows off the growth spurt I've just gone through. I've got a little bump, and although it hasn't netted me any seats on the subway yet, I have gotten some hillarious comments from students. I think this is the golden period - I am feeling pretty good and have a cute little bump, but I can still tie my shoes and fit into my favorite clothes. And I get to feel my little man flipping and kicking and wriggling away, but I'm not getting jabbed in the ribs to the point I can't sleep.
I feel good. I think pregnancy suits me.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Expansion
As my yoga instructor always says, pregnancy is about expansion. Surging hormones work to expand my bones, my ligaments, my uterine walls, all to support the expanding baby growing within me. Weight gain is a natural part of that expansion, too. I am proud to watch my growing belly, but that doesn't make it easy to watch the scale inch upwards. No matter how much I can tell myself that weight gain is healthy right now, I am still battling against 20 years of internal and external admonitions that gaining weight is not good at all.
I've been overweight for years, but in the last couple years I've really focused on eating healthy, keeping lots of fiber and fresh vegetables and calcium in my body, being active and making sure that my blood pressure, cholesterol and heart are in good shape. I am never going to have a "normal" BMI, I'm never going to be a size 6, and I kind of stopped beating myself up over it. After several years in my early 20s of gaining a lot of weight, I had stopped gaining and even lost a little bit, and even though I might sometimes wish to be smaller and feel jealous of my slender friends, I really think that I am mostly healthy and have a pretty good body image.
Because I am already overweight, I shouldn't gain as much as most women would during a pregnancy - I already having all the padding I need. So I've been keeping an eye on it, knowing that gaining too much could put me at risk for high blood pressure and other complications. And I'm proud to say that I'm right on track - gaining in all the right places and not getting too carried away by the "eating for two" and french fry cravings. A modest 15-20lbs is all I'm shooting for.
But despite the good body image, despite the healthy habits, despite the realistic goals and totally healthy gaining rate, I was still somewhat bummed today to see the scale reach a mark that I haven't seen it hit in a long, long time. You can't completely undo 20 years of brainwashing. I know, I know, this is all normal and totally fine. I am thrilled to take it as a sign that my little guy is growing and expanding and getting ready for life on the outside. But I just needed to take a moment and let myself sigh, and tell you all that sometimes changing one's body is easier than changing one's brain.
I've been overweight for years, but in the last couple years I've really focused on eating healthy, keeping lots of fiber and fresh vegetables and calcium in my body, being active and making sure that my blood pressure, cholesterol and heart are in good shape. I am never going to have a "normal" BMI, I'm never going to be a size 6, and I kind of stopped beating myself up over it. After several years in my early 20s of gaining a lot of weight, I had stopped gaining and even lost a little bit, and even though I might sometimes wish to be smaller and feel jealous of my slender friends, I really think that I am mostly healthy and have a pretty good body image.
Because I am already overweight, I shouldn't gain as much as most women would during a pregnancy - I already having all the padding I need. So I've been keeping an eye on it, knowing that gaining too much could put me at risk for high blood pressure and other complications. And I'm proud to say that I'm right on track - gaining in all the right places and not getting too carried away by the "eating for two" and french fry cravings. A modest 15-20lbs is all I'm shooting for.
But despite the good body image, despite the healthy habits, despite the realistic goals and totally healthy gaining rate, I was still somewhat bummed today to see the scale reach a mark that I haven't seen it hit in a long, long time. You can't completely undo 20 years of brainwashing. I know, I know, this is all normal and totally fine. I am thrilled to take it as a sign that my little guy is growing and expanding and getting ready for life on the outside. But I just needed to take a moment and let myself sigh, and tell you all that sometimes changing one's body is easier than changing one's brain.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Squirmy
Little Guy has been dancing and kickboxing and wriggling and karate-chopping all over my lower abdomen, and I am not the only one who has felt him. ZPJ finally got a couple solid kicks over the weekend, which he takes as proof that there is in fact an alien living inside me and that the alien is mad at him and wants to kick him. I think that Baby Boy just wanted to give his dad a high five.
It was kind of magical to finally have that moment that the three of us were communicating with each other right here on the couch. I know that a time is coming when it will seem that he has always been with us, but for now I crave any sign of him, especially the ones I can share. Unfortunately, it might still be a little while before anyone other than ZPJ gets to feel him kick - he's sitting so low that you have to pretty much stick your hands down my pants to feel where he's at. I know that a couple of you out there might be willing to take that on, but be patient with me...there will be plenty of kicks to come.
It was kind of magical to finally have that moment that the three of us were communicating with each other right here on the couch. I know that a time is coming when it will seem that he has always been with us, but for now I crave any sign of him, especially the ones I can share. Unfortunately, it might still be a little while before anyone other than ZPJ gets to feel him kick - he's sitting so low that you have to pretty much stick your hands down my pants to feel where he's at. I know that a couple of you out there might be willing to take that on, but be patient with me...there will be plenty of kicks to come.
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