Signs

I've been analyzing every signal my body gives me, waiting for a clue or sign that will tell me which road I have been walking down for the past two weeks. Every twinge and cramp warrants inspection and classification.

Do my breasts feel larger?

Is that more saliva than normal?

Am I nauseated, or just anxious?

I feel tired for no reason. I feel worn thin. I feel unable to face day-to-day challenges. If these are signs of the normal changes my body makes, rather than a new one, it is unfair that at such an unbalanced time I will need to balance my emotions.

I was trying not to get my heart set on something I couldn't control, but the moment of truth is getting closer and I am questioning if I am strong enough to deal with disappointment. Patience has never been my virtue, and it feels especially far away from me now.