I will write a long, detailed post soon about the birth, but for now, please check out http://teamjost.blogspot.com for all the latest delights!

He's Coming...

After a week of up-and-down blood pressure tests and another day at the hospital being monitored, our doctor has diagnosed me with mild preeclampsia and recommended inducing delivery. She wanted to do it tonight, but neither the baby nor I were in any immediate danger, so we decided to come home and have a nice dinner, get a good night's sleep, and go in tomorrow morning to deliver.

I'm so overwhelmed and a little in denial. It seems impossible that tomorrow (or Monday morning) I will have my son in my arms. I am a little terrified of having an induced labor, with the potential for intense pain that comes with it, but I know that it will be over soon and will fade quickly into memory once I have that little one here in front of me.

But he will be here soon.

I'm going to be sad not to be pregnant anymore. I've been blessed with a really enjoyable and easy pregnancy, and I found myself looking at my belly several times today and being really sad that it will be gone. This has been a special time, and I am only just barely beginning to understand that it's almost over.

But the next part will be better and more amazing than I can yet fathom.

Wish me luck.

Expecting

A beautiful illustration by my friend Treasure Frey - google her, her pictures are fabulous.

Increasing Pressure

For the first time, my body is back-firing on me a little bit. I went in for a check-up on Friday, and my blood pressure was high, which led to many hours at the hospital being monitored. Baby is doing just fine for right now, but it seems that, unless my blood pressure goes down on its own, my uterus may not be the most ideal spot for him for much longer. The doctors have started to talk about inducing labor once I reach 38 weeks, and although it is sort of nice to know that we might be on a more concrete timeline than we had been preparing for, it is also a little sad to think that my body isn't quite up to the task of finishing the job without help. There's no real reason for gestational hypertension, and no real cure besides rest and delivery, so I pretty much just have to wait and see if it gets worse, or better, and take it from there.

I'm sad that it is looking likely that I'll have an induced labor. I was really hoping to have a natural birth, with all the lovely things that go with it, and now it seems that I'll have to wait til the next time around. But I am coming to realize that with pregnancy and parenting, very little goes according to plan. We've spent months and months and months planning for something that is entirely out of our hands, and I'm trying to feel good about just letting go and seeing where it leads.

I have another appointment today to check in on everything, and I'll be staying close to home from now on - no more meetings or shows or running around the city. Except to visit the doctor, of course. I have to take care of my body so it can continue taking good care of the little body inside of it. Which is not so simple as it had once seemed.

Almost-Mother's Day

I had an incredibly relaxing weekend. It may be one of my last, so it was particularly sweet. It involved:

• Movies and take-out with Zach
• An absolutely divine prenatal massage
• Shopping at the Farmers' Market
• LOTS of sitting in the garden
• Napping
• A fancy mani-pedi with a dear friend
• Having friends over for dinner/desserts/drinks in the garden
• Flowers and board books
• A wonderful brunch cooked by a wonderful man
• A walk (or, rather, a very very slow stroll) through the blooming and bustling park
• Lots and lots of rest
  

It was wonderful. I won't be leaving the house or immediate neighborhood much from here on out, and this weekend was a nice way to wind down and spiral in toward my nest.

Baby is a Carnivore

I haven't eaten red meat for 11 years. Or, I hadn't eaten red meat for 11 years. All of a sudden, steak seems like a fantastic idea. I mean, a really REALLY fantastic idea. And on Sunday, on the way home, I made Zach stop at Five Guys and get me a cheeseburger. Not a turkey cheeseburger. An actual cheeseburger. And it was good.

What Baby wants, Baby gets.

Preparations

My body has been experiencing subtle shifts this week that have made me realize that this journey will, sometime soon, come to an end. A gentle downward pull. Pressure where there hasn't been any before. I don't think I'm going to go into labor yet, but I have realized that I am going to go into labor at some point.

I have just over four weeks until my due date, but only one week until I'm considered "full term". It's a strange place to be, because I am feeling the need to mentally and physically prepare myself for the possibility that the baby could be here as soon as next week, but also the reality that it could be another six full weeks. This is going to be a real test of my patience and ability to let go of expectations. I don't want to be caught unprepared, but I also don't want to set myself up for frustration when it doesn't happen as soon as it could.

I am spending this time being watchful and aware of the changes happening inside of me. Zach and I are quietly enjoying the last few weeks of our time alone together and finishing the necessary preparations for our little guy. We're on our way...we just don't know for how much longer...springtime mommy-to-be...